Once, when rec.humor.funny still was, a joke was posted that ran something like this:
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There was a farmer who was feeding apples to his pigs in somewhat idiosyncratic wise. An efficiency expert happened by and, seeing what the farmer was doing, said, "Old man! Why are you holding the pigs up to the trees and letting them eat your apples there? Would it not take much less time to simply shake the tree and let the pigs eat where the apples fall?" The farmer thought for a moment, and then answered him, saying, "What do pigs know of time?" |
Now it happened that a Zen master was feeding apples to his
pig. A student happened along and, seeing what the master was doing,
said, "Master! Why are you holding the pig up to the tree and
letting it eat the apples there? Would it not take much less time to
simply shake the tree and let the pig eat where the apples fall? For
surely your time is more valuable than the pig's!"
The master thought for a moment and said, in humble tones, "Master! You are right. I will sit at your feet while you hold the pig."
here's my resume, and here my consultancy.
I don't write a lot of these. Here are some of the better ones.
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Mainstream, I guess |
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How The Last Ogre Met His End (a tale of the Mad Queen) |
An attempt at a feminist Trickster story |
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Technical fantasy with, I'm afraid, a moral |
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The Case of the Horrible Noise (a Windsor Pudding story) |
Non-well-founded slapstick detection |
Presented as a service to my friends.
Jorge Luis Borges author
Vincent
Clarke composer, poet, fallen synthesiser god
Wayne
Horvitz composer
David Hume
philosopher
K.W.
Jeter The Glass Hammer
novel
LEGO
constuction
toy
Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz philosopher
Iris
Murdoch author (not only the novels but also the Socratic
dramas)
The
Oxford English Dictionary
Roget's International Thesaurus
note the
exact! title
Michael Seal Axiom
(3D) boardgame
Pete
Abrams Sluggy Freelance
on-line comic
Douglas Adams Hitch-Hiker
"trilogy"
Brian Aldiss Helliconia
trilogy
John Allison Bobbins
online comic
David
Brin Startide Rising series
Steven
Brust Vlad Taltos series
(Jhereg &seq)
Glen
Cook The Black Company
series
Isak Dinasen (Karen, Baroness Blixen)
author
Eight Roadwaffles
online comic
Neil Gaiman Death
comic book character, series
Goscinny/Uderzo Asterix
comic
Ron
Goulart perpetrator of beloved pulp SF
Barry
Hughart Bridge of Birds trilogy
Tatsuya
Ishida Sinfest
online comic
Katherine Kurtz
Camber series
Ursula
K. LeGuin Always Coming Home novel
Stanislaw
Lem The Cyberiad anthology of short
stories
R.A.
MacAvoy Tea With the Black Dragon, Lens of the World
series
Charley Parker Argon
Zark online comic
Terry
Pratchett Discworld
series
Robert
Rankin novelist
Jonathan Rosenberg Goats
online
comic
Dave
Sim/Gerhard Cerebus comic book
Neal
Stephenson novelist
Michael
Swanwick novelist
Sheri
S. Tepper novelist
Joan
Vinge The Snow Queen
trilogy(?)
Bill Watterson Calvin
and Hobbes cartoons
Walter
Jon Williams novelist
Connie Willis
novelist
Steven Brust Agyar novel
John Fowles The
Collector novel
Connie Willis Doomsday Book
novel
Caveat lector: books, and in particular linguistics and programming language books, appear here not because I agree with the theories/designs presented but because I found reading them as books enjoyable, and thinking about the issues raised valuable. I will specifically have a flaming cow if anyone infers from the fact that I liked the Lightfoot that I have any time at all for Chomsky's linguistic programme. I don't.
Christopher Alexander [I think] A Pattern Language
architecture, urban planning [don't own a copy]
Craig
Chambers the Self implementation thesis [don't have the
title handy]
Richard Dawkins The
Extended Phenotype evolutionary biology
Simon
C. Dik Functional Grammar
linguistics
Bernard
Grun The Timetables of History
reference
book
Harbison/Steele C:
A Reference Manual programming
language book
The
International Journal of American Linguistics
journal
C.G.
Jung philosopher, perhaps, or conceptual poet. Not
psychologist.
David W.
Lightfoot Principles of Diachronic Syntax
linguistics
Oxford/Duden
Bildwörterbuch Deutsch und Englisch
reference
book
Jerry Sadock Autolexical
Syntax linguistics
Sellar
& Yeatman 1066 And All That history(?) text(?)
Guy
Steele Common Lisp
programming
language book
Edward
R. Tufte Visual
Explanations, Envisioning Information, The Visual Display...
visualisation
and design
Visible Language
journal
Laurie Anderson human
J.S.
Bach composer
Blondie
Angels on the Balcony song
The
Call band
Sheila
Chandra Weaving My Ancestors' Voices
album
The Chemical Brothers Exit Planet
Dust album
Clannad/Bono
In A Lifetime
song
Coolio
Gangsta's Paradise
song
Julian Cope
World Shut Your Mouth
song
The
Cranberries Zombie
song
The Crystal
Method Trip Like I Do song
The
Cure The Head on the Door
song
Dead Can
Dance band
Delerium
Semantic Spaces album
Depeche Mode Speak &
Spell album
Dire
Straits Love Over Gold
album
Melissa
Etheridge Melissa Etheridge
album
Eurythmics
band
Frankie Goes to
Hollywood Welcome to the Pleasuredome (A side)
half album
Peter
Gabriel So album
Indigo
Girls Indigo Girls album
KLF
The White Room album
Latin
Quarter band
Massive
Attack Mezzanine album
Men
Without Hats The Safety Dance
song
New Order
Blue Monday
song
Sinead
O'Connor vocalist
Orbital
Orbital
album
Orchestral
Manoeuvres in the Dark Organisation album
Parachute
Club At the Feet of the Moon
song
J.-P. Rameau
composer
Simon and
Garfunkel Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
album
Sky Sky 2
album
Snow
Informer song
The
Specials Ghost Town
song
Sugarcubes
Life's Too Good album
T'Pau
Heart and Soul
song
Thomas Tallis
Spem in Alium 40
part motet...!
Tangerine
Dream Tangram
album
Teges
Kanyinan Gamelan Semar Pegulingan gamelan
Tuatara
Breaking the Ethers album
Utah
Saints band
Suzanne
Vega singer/songwriter
Kim
Wilde Blade Runner
song
Yaz/Yazoo
band
The
5th Element
film
Algol68
programming
language
Alpha
Centauri computer
game
Blade
Runner film
The
Goons radio humourists
Haskell
programming
language
Illuminati
card games
- there are two of them
Leslie
Lamport work on computational time
Lamy
pens
Bertrand Meyer Eiffel
programming language
Montreal
city
NetHack
computer game (note that I am biased)
Newton
MP2100 so
far the only credible pocket computer, R.I.P.
Rado
watches (unlike everything else on this list I don't
have one yet...)
Guy Steele
extended palindromes
SimCity
2000 computer game
Smalltalk
programming
language
Xenophile
card game